Miguel RodriguesYesterday I had an interesting conversation with some friends.
We were talking about how, nowadays, it feels like we’re losing something that makes us human: empathy, compassion, and understanding for others.
The truth is simple. We never know the full story.
We never really know what someone else is going through in that moment.
Imagine you're driving and someone makes a completely reckless move.
Your immediate reaction is to complain, insult them, think “what an idiot”.
But what if that person just got a call saying their father had a stroke and is in the hospital?
What if they’re in panic?
What if they’re just trying to get there as fast as possible?
The same thing happens at the gym.
We see someone doing an exercise in a strange way, with bad form, or training very lightly, and we judge.
But what if that person had an accident?
What if they have a health condition?
What if that’s the most they can do and they still chose to show up?
That’s the point.
We judge in seconds something that took years to build.
But there’s another side to this that we rarely talk about.
When we’re the ones going through a bad phase.
When we’re tired, frustrated, dealing with problems, not in the right headspace.
When we react worse than we should.
When we have less patience.
When we’re simply not okay.
And then we feel:
“People are judging me and they have no idea what I’m going through.”
And that’s true.
It’s unfair.
But at the same time…
Other people have no way of knowing.
They only see:
- your reaction
- your attitude
- your expression
They don’t see the rest.
And this is where it gets interesting.
We want to be understood without context.
But we judge others in exactly the same way.
What we feel when we’re being judged unfairly is exactly what we do to others every day.
Everyone has been on both sides.
The one who judges.
And the one being judged.
If we had to put this on a scale from 0 to 100:
- 0 is treating someone badly, with disrespect
- 50 is being completely neutral
- 100 is being extremely thoughtful
I don’t think the goal is to be perfect.
But we should aim to stay around 60–70.
And never drop below 50.
Because below that, it no longer says anything about the other person.
It says everything about us.
Another important point.
Even when someone doesn’t treat us well, that’s not a reason to drop to their level.
We should still act with respect, calm, and as much positivity as possible.
At that point, it’s not even about them anymore.
It’s about who we choose to be.
The other person might not change.
They might not notice.
They might not care.
But if there’s even a small chance that your reaction makes them reflect, it’s already worth it.
At the end of the day, it’s simple.
If we want people to give us the benefit of the doubt, we have to do the same for them.
The reality is that nowadays we’re too focused on ourselves.
Too self-centered. Too caught up in our own world.
And we forget something basic.
Everyone is fighting a battle you can’t see.
At the end of the day, there’s a choice.
We can react automatically.
Or we can pause for a second and choose better.
And if we have the option to act better,
why not choose it?